i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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