If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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