Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
