Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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