One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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