it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
