Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
