herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
