She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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