How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
