Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
