Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i dont even know how to be here
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize