he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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