i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
