Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
