16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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