Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
