I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
