I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
