so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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