he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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