Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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