About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I love you. Go after that dick
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He has the fingertips of a God
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