whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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