carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Text me some of your sweat
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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