SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
