Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
