the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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