Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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