in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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