so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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