i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
