We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
