Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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