i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
a search helicopter?!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
