You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
