its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
