My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
