the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize