had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
