I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize