My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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