i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
