so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
