Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
