Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't trust your balls anymore.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
