no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
