your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
