I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
