my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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