even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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