My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize