There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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