Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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