it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
