I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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